Vertebroplasties are not all they are "cracked" up to be. Pun intended since cancer has cracked my bone, specifically Lumbar #4. And other unwelcome cancer carbuncles are growing like a grape vine around, above, below and within my Lumbars #3 and #5. Anyhoo, the vertebroplasty was supposed to alleviate my lower back (actually it's BUTT) pain.
Whee.
Bottom (pun intended) line?
I still have pain.
Mucho pain.
So I've got a new doctor to help manage my pain.
And I'm so happy to add another doctor to my already incredibly long list of doctors. Ahem.
Okay, I should be grateful.
And I am.
Sort of.
I'll tell you who is NOT grateful.
My buttocks.
Because it seems as though they think they are rock stars on a tour where they can't wait to show everyone what they got. *cue guitar riff* Welcome to the jungle!
Yeesh.
If I have to show ONE MORE DOCTOR my buttocks? I'm going to have start charging a fee.
Yeesh.
So yesterday, I went for my second shot of steroids to hopefully (keep your fingers crossed) help alleviate this butt/hip scorching pain.
What I didn't count on was hearing his excitement as he told his assistant during the procedure, "See that's the spot where the needle needs to be. Let me dig in there a little bit more."
Yikes.
Then I feel his hand on my buttock pushing and kneading apparently doing the digging. He used a giant ex ray machine so he could see everything as he guided or dug the needle in to my sweet, unyielding flesh. At least that is how I have always envisioned it to be. I don't want to know if he saw it differently. Welcome to the jungle....?
Double yikes.
So they got to where they needed to be finally and injected the precious steroid.
Let's hope shot number two works! Unfortunately, shot number one didn't do diddly squat!
Lately, I've been wishing more and more that I drank alcohol.
I'm pretty sure a tall glass of cold beer would go down ever so sweetly.
I can almost imagine the taste.
But wait.
I've got something better!
My faithful Diet Dr. Pepper.
Ah!
Hey, us Cancer VETS learn not to be choosy.
We'll take what we can get.
*burp*
