Saturday, March 29, 2014

So....

Vertebroplasties are not all they are "cracked" up to be. Pun intended since cancer has cracked my bone, specifically Lumbar #4. And other unwelcome cancer carbuncles are growing like a grape vine around, above, below and within my Lumbars #3 and #5. Anyhoo, the vertebroplasty was supposed to alleviate my lower back (actually it's BUTT) pain.

Whee.

Bottom (pun intended) line?

I still have pain.

Mucho pain.

So I've got a new doctor to help manage my pain.

And I'm so happy to add another doctor to my already incredibly long list of doctors. Ahem.

Okay, I should be grateful.

And I am.

Sort of.

I'll tell you who is NOT grateful.

My buttocks.

Because it seems as though they think they are rock stars on a tour where they can't wait to show everyone what they got. *cue guitar riff* Welcome to the jungle!

Yeesh.

If I have to show ONE MORE DOCTOR my buttocks? I'm going to have start charging a fee.

Yeesh.

So yesterday, I went for my second shot of steroids to hopefully (keep your fingers crossed) help alleviate this butt/hip scorching pain.

What I didn't count on was hearing his excitement as he told his assistant during the procedure, "See that's the spot where the needle needs to be. Let me dig in there a little bit more."

Yikes.

Then I feel his hand on my buttock pushing and kneading apparently doing the digging. He used a giant ex ray machine so he could see everything as he guided or dug the needle in to my sweet, unyielding flesh. At least that is how I have always envisioned it to be. I don't want to know if he saw it differentlyWelcome to the jungle....?

Double yikes.

So they got to where they needed to be finally and injected the precious steroid.

Let's hope shot number two works! Unfortunately, shot number one didn't do diddly squat!

Lately, I've been wishing more and more that I drank alcohol.

I'm pretty sure a tall glass of cold beer would go down ever so sweetly.

I can almost imagine the taste.

But wait.

I've got something better!

My faithful Diet Dr. Pepper.

Ah!

Hey, us Cancer VETS learn not to be choosy.

We'll take what we can get.

*burp*


8 comments:

  1. So when you went in for this second shot did you turn the other cheek, Quirks? But seriously I hope this helps with your pain management. No one likes pain, especially a pain in the ass. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

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  2. Yea! I found your butt....er.... BLOG! Yeah, the alcohol would be a different kind of shot or shots. Hee Hee.

    Sending positive thoughts for wiping away that pain!

    Oh my, I DO think there might have been a pun in that last sentence.

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  3. ha! love it. and I also have to agree. tee hee

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  4. And a very good pun too. tee hee. I need all the good wiping I can get!

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  5. How are they combating the growths on your lumbar? A friend of mine with tumors on her brain is having cyber-knife treatments where they pinpoint the exact growth and radiate the shit out of it. Can they do anymore chemo?I hate that you're going through this. I crushed my lumbar 2 a while back and holy-shit-Almighty! I think now is a great time to start drinking. A cold beer kicks DDP's ass. And a Margarita? Yee-haw! :) Big hugs.

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  6. Well that sounds like the type of radiation therapy I had back in Spring 2013 and it was to lumbar #5. the lesions around the other lumbars weren't making much of an appearance. heh heh Unfortunately, if it is the same treatment then sadly the answer is NO, it did not work for me. Cancer is tricky! What works for one person like your friend (at least I hope it's working) might not work for another. And you crushed #2? Yikes! Thanks for the big hugs. Back atcha!

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  7. Oh God, Quirky! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope the "pain management" can do something fast to help you now. As a person who has had bad episodes of pain from my back, I swear it's the worst. That low back is just connected to so many other things! Cough? Causes pain. Twitch a hand? Causes pain. Breathe? Yup. They'll get it right, but I hope it happens soon. Thoughts (and yeah, prayers) are with you, Honey.

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  8. Aw, thanks so much Linda! Too kind.


    I wish I could say the pain is being managed by me. It's more like the pain is managing ME. *sigh* I'll get better eventually


    I will.


    I think. *smile*

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