Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Repeat after me: Po-low-mah.

Yep, that's the name of the cancer study that I'm participating in!


My oncologist recommended it, but little did I realize how involved it would be.

First of all, there's a new nurse in my life: Lisa. She's very sweet and laughs at my jokes. So I like her. A lot.

Second of all, the study will pay for many future scans and blood work. Suh-weet. Me and my check book like this. A lot.

Third of all, my head exploded. I did not like this. A lot.

Yes, it was not pretty.

How did my head explode?

When Lisa told me that since my last biopsy was in the spring, they would just use my cancer tumor. I was confused. What? The cancer tissue procured during the bone biopsy is not good enough?  That's when we confirmed metastatic breast cancer to the bones.


Back to Lisa.

"No, there might be too many bone particles in it. We'll just use the cancer tumor."


What cancer tumor?

Then the light bulb started flickering on. Dang 40 watt bulbs! Makes it hard to process things quickly.

Then it blazed white!

And blew my mind.

They have my original cancer tumor!

She confirmed this very fact.

My breast cancer tumor has been stored in some underground (?), high security (?) vault! There is some dude or dudette who takes care and makes sure nobody accesses my cancer without proper permission. What is this person's title: Tumor Vault Technician?


I had to sign a tumor release.


Apparently, according to Lisa, they keep the tumor tissue for 20 years!

Good heavens. The cancer tumor will outlive me!

I just never knew there was a part of me... somewhere out there.... beneath the pale moonlight?


Still can't wrap my mind around it. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.


The light bulb blew.


*blub, blub, blub, blub, blub*

B.S. No Tumor Vault Technicians were harmed during the production of this post.


  1. Tumor Vault Technician, indeed. Glad I found you again, Quirks. I was scared something had, like, maybe, happened to you. Glad to see you're among the land of the living.

  2. Hey Me. Loon, Indigo here. A noob. Sad to hear about your condition, but bewildered about the cold storage revelation. I wonder if they outsourced it? I hear Bangalore is lovely at this time of year... Indigo

  3. OMG! You've been canned and put up like a jar of apricot preserves. And I can't get "Genie In A Bottle" out of my head now either.

    That cancer tumor had better plan on sticking around for another 50 years or so because we're not letting you go. We're tethering you here like a Macy's parade balloon. :)

  4. I'm just happy there is no "procedure" you would be looking at. I have some old wisdom teeth around somewhere. You never know. I may need them for something so I'm keepin' them! I hope this cancer study has positive results! Best of luck, Quirky!

  5. Tumor Vault Technician. hah! I wonder if they require an iris scan to enter the vault.

    Do they keep the cancer tumor in a nice display case next to the diamonds a.k.a. ice?

    Twenty years! You only need to keep tax documents for five or ten years.