Monday, December 16, 2013

Shots Much?

Last week I went on and on about how much I like Nurse Lisa.

Today? Not so much.

She lied.

"Mrs. Quirkster, you will be given one shot in the arm once a month."

First of all, it wasn't ONE shot, it was TWO.

Second of all, it wasn't in the arm, but in the buttocks. One in each cheek.

So unbeknownst to me I sat in the Chemo Room waiting for my shot(s), a horrific life event was about to unfold.

Lisa was out of the picture by now. She had passed me off to the Chemo Nurses. And boy was this new nurse excited and bubbly. Why was she so excited? I became suspicious.


She had lots to tell me.

"It's refrigerated, so we like to warm it up so it will go in easier."


*heart palpitations begin*

"And it will be administered in two shots, one to each buttock."



I was going to have to pull down my pants?

*full-blown panic attack setting in*

Not again.

I'm always having to expose myself to strangers. Nothing like knowing that the bright lights of the injection room (yes, they have a special room off to the side of the Chemo Room just for shots) will enhance MY buttocks for an up close and personal experience with the Chemo Nurse.

*breathing in and out of the paper bag...slowly*

Lucky for Nurse Lisa, I don't hold grudges.

I'll forgive her eventually.


(pun intended)

It's not easy.


B.S. No Chemo Nurses were harmed during the production of this post. Note: Lisa is not a Chemo Nurse. Bwahahaha!

1 comment:

  1. Yikes! What if someone only has one butt cheek, huh? What do they do then? It could happen. Guy slips on some ice. It tears right through his pants and BAM! One butt cheek gone!

    Merry Christmas, my quirky friend. :)